29

Fore Crikey!

He was right. The whole place would soon be swarming with Fernando's agents, and although Dredly's golfing skills had been enough to deal with the jeeps, he doubted if he’d be able to take on a helicopter gunship.
“We’ll never be able to hide while we’re on this golf course.” He said, “Head off at the next green.”
This they did, scooting past the sand traps at the back of it.
“Tricky hole!” Said Sage, pursing his lips. “I wouldn’t like to play that one for money.”
They bumped and bundled their way over the rough for about thirty yards and then started up a small hill, the top of which was covered in pine trees.
“Okay, stop her here.” Dredly said, just before they reached the crest. “First rule of soldiery - if you walk over the crest of a hill, your enemy can see you for miles.” So saying, he hit the dirt and crawled over the top. The hill flattened out for a few yards and then sloped away again. Down at the bottom of the long sweep - three hundred yards at least - the perimeter fence rose fifteen feet out of the ground. Wandering along in front of it there was a guard with a gun slung over his shoulder. Dredly scrambled back to Sage.
“Well?” He asked.
“Ssh! The fence is just down the other side, but there’s a guard and he’s got acres of space to see us coming.”
“Damn! What do we do?”
Dredly thought quickly. “D’you reckon you could squeeze a shot out from three hundred yards? You’ve got the slope on your side.”
“I reckon I could.” Sage replied, then slowly got out of the buggy, shrugging and loosening his neck muscles. He swung his arms and then reached for his one wood. Like a sniper, he gently pulled the cover from its head as if he were taking the lens cap from his telescopic sight. He pulled his glove on with deliberate slowness, steadying his mind and sinews, breathing evenly. One tee and one ball.
“Don’t you want another, just in case you miss?”
“No.” He replied, dread determination furrowing his brow and narrowing his eyes. “One shot. That’s all I’ll get. If I miss, he’ll take me for sure... But I won’t miss.”
Dredly almost pitied the guard. They crawled back up the hill and Sage viewed his target for a few moments.
“No trouble.” He whispered, then took up his position in a small clearing amidst the trees. Still on his belly, he teed the ball up. They both knew that there would be no time for a practice swing. They both knew that as soon as he stood up, the guard would be alerted to his presence and that he would have to take his shot before the guard could take his. They both knew that drying off family pets in the microwave was a really dumb thing to do. But they both knew that this was the only way.
Sage got to his feet in a fluid, unhurried movement. In the distance the guard shouted, but Sage did not hear him, for his fierce concentration was fixed on the ball and nothing else. Dredly watched the guard running forward, stopping, raising his gun. Simultaneously, Sage took one lingering look at his foe, measured up the distance and addressed the ball. He swung back, down, through. At the moment the ball was struck, there was a report from the guard’s gun. Even as the ball started to hook away, the trees around them cracked and whizzed from the scattered shots. Sage stood his ground. He knew that at that range the gun had no accuracy and that only a stray bullet could catch him, whereas he could have pin-point accuracy. He watched his ball, but they were surely undone! The ball was still hooking away. He had missed and soon they would be in the clutches of The Fabulous Fernando and his voluptuous assistant Pauline.
“Let’s get out of here!” Dredly cried.
“Wait!” Sage commanded and pointed to the ball. It was fading back. Suddenly Dredly understood. He hadn’t wanted to hit it straight at the guard because he would have been able to see it coming and avoid it, but this way he’d have seen it hook away and ignored it. And that was his mistake. The ball faded, hit the ground, skidded up off the grass and slammed into the guard’s groin with a dull thud. He crumpled, knocked unconscious by the sheer pain. It even brought a tear to Dredly's eye.
“Good shot!” He slapped Sage on the back. “Now come on. This could be our only chance.”
They ran back to the buggy, fired it up and went speeding down the slope. With the hill behind them and the dead weight of the still unconscious bear, they just had the momentum to tear through the fence, which shivered and rattled around them as they careered on their way.
“Alright!” Sage yelled, “We’re going to drive this baby clear to...” He never finished his sentence, for they were suddenly stopped dead. The front of the buggy crumpled and the three friends were thrown headlong into something hard. After a few moments Greta started to untangle herself from the untidy heap.
"Hey, like, what's happening guys?" She sounded groggy.
"Greta! Thank God you're back to normal!" Sage cried, disengaging his foot from the front of the buggy. "We thought we'd lost you for sure."
"Where the hell are we? Why are you in golf clothes? What did we run into?"
Sage and Dredly were able to quickly fill in the details of the first two questions, but the third was more of a poser. Even though they'd got through the perimeter fence, they found that within a few feet they had slammed into something hard.
"Must be a force shield." Sage slapped his hand against the invisible wall. It sounded hard as concrete, but they could see straight through it to the rolling grassland beyond. They all started feeling it, like three golfing mime artists.

"Amazing!" Dredly breathed. "No wonder Fernando had to take a loan out - this kind of technology can't be cheap."
"But I still don't understand how, right... How come we couldn't see any of this from the road? I'm no expert on all that perspective stuff, but that house front wasn't wide enough to hide all this, no way."
Greta was right and the other two knew it. Then suddenly...
"I think I've just had a brainwave!" Sage exclaimed.
"Must have been the blow to the head." Dredly mused.
"Yeah, but whatever's the cause, I've definitely had one!" Sage sounded triumphant. He was thrilled by the sense of intellectual conquest. There was a pause.
"You going to share it with us, or do we have to guess?" Dredly asked.
"Oh yeah, yeah! Okay, you ready for this? I reckon that they must have some kind of cloaking device!"
"Of course! That's brilliant!" Dredly was well impressed. "The device makes it look to the world outside as if nothing untoward is going on, and it acts as a perimeter fence, too."
They were all impressed, then a few moments later they were depressed, as they realised that they were stuck and that it would not be long before Fernando's men recaptured them. They needed a plan and quickly!
"I know!" Said Greta suddenly, "Have you guys seen Star Wars?"
They looked at her with incredulity.
"I don't really think this is the time or place for a film quiz..." Sage began.
"I don't want to test your knowledge, I was just wondering 'cos it'll make telling you my idea easier."
"Oh... Well yes, we have. Twenty seven times... Each." Sage replied.
"Okay. Now this cloaking device is going to be some kind of matter transference type of system, yeah?" The men nodded and she continued, "And something like that needs power, right? So, like, you remember when Ben 'Obi Wan' Kenobi shuts down the generator for the tractor beam in Star Wars..."
"You think we can do the same with this?" Dredly knew where she was going with it.
"You bet. And I'm sure the good people of Billings will inform the authorities as soon as a major citadel of infamy appears in the middle of their town."
"Brilliant!" Dredly cried.
"Yeah, but it's not as good as my brainwave." Sage said sulkily. Every time he had a good idea somebody always had to trump him.

Typical! You wait twenty nine chapters for someone to have a brainwave and then two come along at once... But which is better? You decide in our fantastic and not at all rigged online poll. Simply email 'GRETA' or 'SAGE' to minions@dredly.com and we'll let you know who the public went for next time. First 3 voters get a free T-shirt.

But can our heroes penetrate the citadel's defences and turn off the cloaking device?

Find out in the next slightly defensive chapter...